Creating a structured approach to her PhD helped Jasmine Hughes combat a sense of guilt.Credit: Vivian Wan/Bloomberg/Getty
During the first year of my PhD programme in clinical neuroscience at the University of Cambridge, UK, I could not work out what I was initially feeling. There was this sense that I always needed to be ‘on’. When I was not in the laboratory or working on a project, I felt as though I should be. At each stage of my academic career, I’d always felt the need to prove myself — but this sensation was different. It was guilt. More specifically, graduate-student guilt.
Graduate students can experience this feeling whenever they are not working or focusing on their studies. Personally, I often felt it when I was not actively writing my thesis or research manuscripts, reviewing articles or attending lectures related to my PhD topic. For instance, if I was attending a formal dinner at my college — one of Cambridge’s many traditions — I’d feel the need to rush home and continue working on project proposals or finalizing an ethics application, even during the weekends.
As the days went on, my creativity and passion in the lab started to fizzle out, and I felt as though I had become just another cog in the machine. At one point, I was so overwhelmed, I started to experience anxiety attacks at night.
Once graduate-student guilt started to affect my health and performance, I knew I had to change. I established a list of clear, specific, non-negotiable rules that I had to follow. I had, of course, tried to set such boundaries before, but I had viewed them as flexible guidelines that I would sometimes bend to meet deadlines or to spend more time with my lab colleagues at work events.
In no uncertain terms
Unlike boundaries, non-negotiables cannot be altered and always take priority. Creating and sticking to them has reduced the sense of urgency and guilt that I felt at home. Now, instead of viewing my PhD programme as a competitive sprint, I am embracing it as a slower journey of discovery on my own terms.
Here is my list of six non-negotiables:
Establish working hours with specific tasks. To ease the guilty feeling, I started considering my PhD a full-time job. In 2022, I had worked full-time as a research technician on a biomedical-engineering project at Harvard University in Cambridge, Massachusetts, for six months. In that role, I had an outline of tasks and goals for each day, with an extremely clear structure. So, in my PhD programme, I now create a list of lab tasks to be completed before I leave campus. This has helped me to maintain focus and be more efficient with my time. Most importantly, it helps me to avoid taking my work home.
Recognize lab members as colleagues, not family. I had to make this distinction clear so that I would not feel guilty when I had to prioritize family commitments over being in the lab. This divide was evident when I had to decide between supporting my aunt, by virtually attending a preoperative clinic visit, and helping my lab mates on a day when they were doing a tricky experiment.
Respond to non-urgent e-mails during working hours only. Although it can sometimes can take just a few minutes to respond to an e-mail, I still have my daily ‘after-work hours’, during which I pause from work without feeling the sense of urgency to complete tasks. Instead, I reassure myself that I can leave something to be completed tomorrow. During this time, I can still reply to urgent e-mails — such as notifications of emergencies at the animal-housing facility where we conduct our mouse experiments. I need to be reachable in case a mouse has to be culled or receive treatment.
Schedule holidays of at least two weeks each term. By setting aside a holiday break each term, I can unwind, refresh and spend time with loved ones.
